The Long Ride Home

Unfortunately Mike was unable to make it tonight. So, I’m flying solo… The link to the download the duct tape song can be found at http://www.ducttapeguys.com/music/index.html. I talk about baked goods, mens faults (there are only five, lol), and other things. Have a listen. Please call us at 815-209-0885, we would love to hear from you and it’s an excellent way to be part of the show.

Have Fun!

Roger, a friend on the train gave this joke to me, I don’t know who the author is but I found this joke funny.

Baked Beans -

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down and on the way home from work. Since I lived in a rural area, I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way I passed by a small diner; the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effect by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and consumed three large orders of baked beans. Starting my walk home once again, I made sure that I released any gas build up.

Upon my arrival my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity to shift my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes; the pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused, “Happy Birthday!”

I fainted!!!